Going Crazy
by bebexsesso
Summary: Zoe admits to herself that shes in love with Dan .. but can she figure out a way to tell him before its too late? CHAPT. 4 is now up i wanna make sure that people are reading this and im not just wasting my time so R
1. Thinking

_**Part 1**_

_**Disclaimer: Dan Zoe and the rest of the wild card cast do not belong to me otherwise the series would NEVER end lol. **_

Zoe sat up late that night thinking about Dan. How could she be so blind? She loved him plain and simple there was no one else in this world for her she knew that now but maybe it was too late. He was out on a date with his newly found girlfriend Katie. HA! Katie it sounded like some cheerleaders name Zoe joked trying to ease her pain by thinking that this was just another one of his "one date relationships" and that the next morning when she asks him how did the date go he'll say "oh it just didn't work out" like he always does. But wait what if he doesn't she thought. What if after all this time Dan found the one for him and Zoe was going to loose him forever? No she just couldn't bare this thought, she had to talk to him.

Zoe walked over to her dresser, picked up her cell phone and dialed Dan's cell phone number. His voice mail came on, Zoe wondered what he was doing that he couldn't pick up his cell phone, no she didn't want to think about it she had to get this done.

"Dan, hey its Zoe umm I really need to talk to you okay? When you get this message just call me back … im sure ill be up. Thanks err ok bye." God that went horrible Zoe thought. Every time she hears his voice even if its just on an answering machine she freezes and forgets what she planed to say. Oh well it will all be worth it soon Zoe thought, finally she was going to tell Dan what was inside of her for the longest time, she just couldn't bare the thought of him with someone else it just wasn't right.

-

-

-

Please read and review but don't be too hurtful keep in mind this is my first story ever that I have written. I didn't make all the words proper because I tried to keep it as if Zoe was thinking everything that I said. New chapters will be up soon thanks )


	2. Different

_**Part 2 **_

Zoe opened up her eyes to find the sun shining brightly into her room. She quickly pulled the covers above her eyes not yet remembering what had happened and what she had been thinking just the night before. She got up and looked at the clock.

"8:30! Aw you got to be kidding me..." She said out loud to herself "Kids!" she shouted.

"Don't worry Aunt Zoe were already leaving for the bus." Taylor yelled back up the stairs Thank god Zoe thought all she wanted to do was crawl back into bed but unfortunately she had to get ready for work.

"Work she scoffed ... Wait work ... Dan oh no what did I do!" She remembered everything about the night before. How she admitted to herself that she loved Dan and how she called him up … thankfully he hadn't picked up his phone though.

"Ok Zoe stay together all you have to say is you thought you found some new information on a case we closed but it turned out to be wrong. Yea he'll believe me I don't have to admit anything to him." Zoe said out loud to herself smiling as she got ready for work.

-

-

-

Zoe walked into her office not even checking to see if Dan had arrived. A few minutes later there was a familiar knock at the door. Zoe looked up to see Dan standing there.

"Hey Zoe what's new?." Dan asked. Zoe froze, there was that voice that she found so comforting yet at times it could drive her crazy knowing that he was so close to her but still so far away.

"Ah nothing .. so how did your date go?" Zoe answered but she dreaded this question she had to ask. Just because she wasn't going to tell him that she loved him doesn't mean that she didn't have a right to know how his love life was going … right? I mean they **are **still partners after all.

"Oh it didn't go that well." Dan replied simply.

Zoe was very pleased with herself she couldn't help but smile a little bit at this sentence did she know her partner or what? But Dan must have caught the slight smile that formed on his partner's face, which lead to his question.

"Speaking of my date, while I was on it I got this call from my partner and im just wondering what she could have possibly wanted at that time of the night." Dan said smiling playfully.

"Well your **_"partner"_** just called you because she thought that she had a breakthrough in the case but it turned out to be wrong." She said trying to go alone with his game.

"Uh-huh that late at night … right?" Dan replied slyly

"Yes that late at night now do you mind I have A LOT of work to do!" Zoe answered almost harshly but she regretted it as soon as she said it because she saw the hurt look on his face.

"Ok then ill just go." He answered without looking into her eyes. He turned around coldly and walked back into his own office shutting the door.

Why did he let her do this to him? He thought. She always got to him, she always made him hurt and no ones ever done that before to him not like this. When she was hurting so was he, and when she mad at him, which was very rarely well then he was hurting again. But the worst thing was when she was happy because he knew that he couldn't share in that with her. Sure they were close at work even outside of work they were best friends but it stopped there every time it got even a little serious Zoe pulled away. And when he saw her smile he had to admit that he was a little jealous that she wasn't smiling because she was with him. Even though every little thing that she did made him hurt inside, her smile made it all better. He was so sick of letting him get to her, but her smile was like his drug and he just couldn't get enough of it.

Back in Zoe's office she felt terrible about what had happened. She always did this, to everyone in her life she had never let anyone get too close. Except of course her sister, that was the only person she could really open up to she never trusted anyone else. And now that Sue was gone she didn't want to let herself become vulnerable to loosing another best friend. Yes she loved him that was the problem, she was setting herself up for another heartbreak, every other man in her life that she has ever gone out with never worked out. She knew Dan was different but she couldn't put herself through loosing someone who this time she could actually love. She couldn't put the kids through that. It wasn't fair to them loosing someone else in their life. She had to be responsible this time it had to be different.


	3. i love you

_**Part 3**_

Zoe was sitting in her office feeling terrible about how she had snapped at Dan like she did. He didn't deserve it and she knew it, this was** her** problem and she had to work it out herself. Getting over him wasn't going to be easy but she had to try. Just then Zoe had a sudden urge for coffee; she got up and walked out of her office and towards the coffee machine where she saw Dan. 'Great' she thought 'why do I have to see him so soon? Whatever now im not even allowed to get coffee if he's there no I cant let my thoughts of him run my life.'

"Hey Dan … listen im sorry about before im just really stressed out lately can you forgive me?" Zoe explained giving him one of her most childish smiles.

"Yea I guess, look M said that we have to check out the Costa case again, she doesn't think Mr. Costa's alibi adds up.

"Alright let's go now then." Zoe answered but she dreaded having to sit in the same car as him.

-

-

-

"No answer' Dan stated as they rang the doorbell to the Costa's home. "I guess we should head back to the office" Dan was wondering why Zoe was so quite as they headed back to the car, he didn't seem to remember five minutes having goon by without her saying something to annoy him. But he had to admit he loved being annoyed by her.

"So what's wrong with you lately Zoe?" Dan questioned.

"What are you talking about, nothing the matter with me I told you im just a little stressed out." She answer, she knew that he could tell that there was something else wrong with her, she was just thankful that he didn't know what. If only he knew how she felt, of course she knew he had feelings for her too. The constant flirting, the boyish smiles, but what if that was all it was, flirting. What if it didn't mean the same to him as it did to her? She didn't want to risk it even if it did mean a chance at happiness.

"Ok fine." He answered and that was all they said for the rest of the ride. She decided that she was going to go home for a little bit and change her clothes, so as Dan drove her back to her house there was silence in the car.

"Ok here we are ill see you later at the office then I guess, but you know that if you ever need to talk im here for you Zoe." Dan said as he pulled in front of her house.

"Yes I know Dan thanks that's why I love y-." Zoe's face fell, what had she just done? Did she really say what she thought she said? "Oh I really gotta go" She said as she ran out of the car and into her house. All this time Dan had his jaw slightly dropped, he couldn't believe what he just heard his partner say, did she just say that she loved him? Maybe it didn't mean anything but if it didn't then why did she run out of his car? This was all too much information for him; he just couldn't process it all. He drove away from Zoe's house trying not to look back, and trying not to think about what had just happened.

-

-

-

"Aunt Zoe are you alright?" Taylor asked as she saw her aunt run through the front door.

"Yea Taylor im fine." Zoe answered but Taylor knew her aunt better then that to believe this.

'Is it Dan?" Taylor asked but she already knew the answer.

"What … how did you, never mind what do you mean?" Zoe asked half shocked still that her niece was this mature to piece everything together I mean she hardly talked about Dan, but he was always around and she loved that.

"Look Aunt Zoe I mean its kinda obvious that your head over heels in love with the guy so what are you waiting for?"

"Ok lets just say for arguments shake that your right I still wouldn't be able to act on it I couldn't put you kids through that if it didn't work out." Zoe used that excuse that she had been telling her self over and over again in her head but the real reason why she couldn't act on her feeling was because she couldn't put **herself** through that.

"Oh no don't use us as an excuse I think I can speak for all three of us when I say Dan's a pretty ok guy and he's good for you, plus you can totally see that he's in love with you. Just go for it." The teenager answered.

"Ok ill think about it." Zoe said while walking up the stairs. "Hey Taylor … thanks."

"No problem." Taylor answered as she got back to finish up the rest of her homework.

-

-

-

Zoe walked into her room thinking about the conversation she just had. How was her niece so incisive and how did she grow up so fast right before Zoe's eyes? Everything was happening too fast; she needed someone to talk to, not that her niece wasn't doing a terrific job on reading her aunt like a book. What Zoe needed was Dan but she couldn't talk to him right now especially not about this. She looked into her mirror and started to cry, she suddenly felt her knees give out and she fell to the floor weeping. Only Dan could make her loose her balance. As she sat on her bedroom floor, still crying, she wondered if everything was going to work out this time.


	4. Not just some guy

_**Part 4**_

Zoe shakily stood up from her position on the floor. How could she face Dan again after what she said? She wipes the running eyeliner from her eyes; she didn't want to go to work the next day and have to pretend like she never said what she said, she was sick of doing that. She loves Dan and that's all she needs to know she just couldn't figure out quite how to tell him yet, or even if she wants to tell him. Why does her life always have to be so complicated? She and Dan were meant to be period, the end, cue happy ending music. That was all she needed to know. Just then the phone rang.

"Hello?" Zoe answered

"Hey Zoe" she heard his voice and she froze

"Dan ... what, what's up" she struggled to get the words out, why was he calling her now?

"Look I think we need to talk."

"No Dan we really don't there's nothing to talk about." She replied

"But in the car, you said ..."

"Dan I know what I said!" She said as she cut him off.

"And? Don't you want to make some excuse up, don't you want to pretend like it never happened this is just like you Zoe you can never face anything head on. Why are you always waiting for the bottom to fall out of everything?"

"Because it always does! You don't understand no matter what, every time im happy something always happens every time I find love it never works out im not going to risk it any more ok? Good bye Dan." She said as she hung up the phone as the tears began to pour down her face again.

Why did she have to do that? She couldn't make a decision if her life depended on it, when was she going to learn to stop second guessing herself?

"Aunt Zoe can you help me with something?" Taylor called as she walked into her Aunts room. "Aunt Zoe have you been crying?"

"Yes Taylor I have."

"Wait wait let me guess … Dan right?"

"Fine your right can we just drop it please, now do you need help with?

"Nothing until you tell me what's going on, im really worried about you."

"Ok its just complicated."

"Do you love him?"

"What I … it's not that simple." Zoe answered, the teenager was caught off guard 'I deserve a Grammy if I can pull this one off.' Zoe thought to herself.

"And do you see how you can't for the life of you answer a direct question? Now im going to ask you one more time. Do you love him?"

"Yes" Zoe replied barely audible

"Ok it's **that** simple then."

"Look Taylor if you don't fall in love then you can't get hurt, and I really don't want to get hurt anymore so it's not _that_ simple."

"Ok well first of all you're a little late your already in love with him and second of all doesn't it get lonely all by yourself?"

"Your right Taylor hmm you're wise beyond your years"

"What can I say it's a gift. So you love him right?" Taylor asked one more time wanting to make sure.

"Yes we've been through this-"

"So go to him, ill watch Hannah and Cliff besides I already talked to them about this and there happy for you."

"You know what Taylor your right I don't know where I would be without you?" Zoe asked

"Lost" Taylor replied as she went downstairs.

Zoe looked at herself in the mirror she looked like hell but she didn't care, she raced downstairs and opened the door. "Kids ill be back in a little bit!" Zoe yelled.

"Ok!" shouted all three of her sister's kids.

Zoe saw that it was raining out. 'Great' Zoe said to herself as she raced out of the house and into her car, she didn't have time to stop and find her umbrella. As she drove to Dan's apartment she was halfway there when her car broke down. "No come on not now not now of all days!" She shouted as she banged the steering wheel. She got out of her car and looked around, her hair was now soaked and flat, and she couldn't find a dry spot on her clothes. 'It's not that long to Dan's apartment I guess im going to have to walk.' She thought.

She shut her car door and ran all the way to Dan's apartment it was about two miles from where her car broke down. 'Two miles.' She thought 'Running two miles in the rain all for some guy.' But he wasn't just **some guy** he was **the guy**. The only one that really understood her. He was sensitive, but he stood up for her when the time called for it. He was handsome, kind, loveable, sweet, he loved the kids as if they were his own she knew that. He was always there for them and her when they needed him. They worked well together of course, and to top it all off she had fallen in love with him since the day she met him. She just couldn't admit it until now, probably not at all if it wasn't for Taylor.

As she ran the rest of the way in the rain she rehearsed what she was planning on saying to Dan when she arrived at his apartment.

Sorry I haven't been updating in a while .. really busy with school and cheerleading. In response to a comment I wasn't trying to annoy or bribefor reviews this is my first story and I just wanted to make sure people were reading it so I wasn't wasting my time. But thanks for that point of view I prob. Would have been annoyed too.


	5. Midnight i love yous

**Author notes: **sorry I haven't updated in forever i promise more chapters will come quicker don't forget about me lol. This chapter might be short Im not sure yet we'll just see how it goes I just wanted to update and tell you all I didn't forget about this story ) R&R!

ON TO THE STORY lol

'What am i going to say to him' Zoe wondered as she walked slowly in the rain to Dan's apartment. .She was tired of running and she even thought about heading back. Her makeup ran down her face now and her clothes were soaked.

Before she could think of anything else she wanted to say to Dan she looked up and saw that she was at Dan's apartment. 'Finally' she thought, she raced in the door and to the elevator. 'What? How can the elevator not be working … this is like something out of a television show this cant be happening now.' So she found the stairs and ran up 5 flights before coming to Dan's door. On her way up she started crying again 'What if he doesn't feel the same way?' Tears started to quickly pour down her face just as it had earlier.

When she finally reached his door she took a deep breathe and rang his door bell. She looked down at her watch, 'Midnight. Good timing Zoe' she sighed. At last Dan opened his door his hair was messy and Zoe immediately noticed this, mentally kicking herself for coming at this time of night.

Dan looked at his partner as if she was crazy for coming at this time of night but as he saw her hair and clothes soaked and her makeup running a look of concern crept across his face.

"Zoe are you okay … what happened!"

"Dan can I come in?"

"Umm sure but really what's the matter?" He asked looking more concerned each passing second.

She walked in his apartment, took a deep breath, and tried to gather all of the courage she could to say what she had to say.

"Dan I really need to tell you something and I know this isn't the right time to or anything but I just couldn't wait another day I mean you never know when its too late right?" She said going into another of her rambles that only Zoe could understand.

"Zoe your rambling … "

"Okay okay sorry … umm I'm in love with you" she blurted out.

"Do you know what your saying?" Dan asked shocked.

"Yes and just let me finish, I'm completely in love with you Dan and no matter how hard I try not to be it just doesn't work." Her voice began to shake and she began crying again.

"Zoe don't cry – " He touched her arm but she pushed him off.

"Don't, just let me finish. Now I compare all guys to you, all the guys that I meet and none of them measure up to you. Its not fair no one is as perfect as you so I cant move on Im in love with you, but maybe I don't want to move on i don't know."

"Can I talk now Zoe?" Dan asked trying to lighten up the tension that seemed to be building. Zoe shrugged. "I love you too."

"What?" Zoe looked at him not believing what he was saying. "Dan don't you don't have to say that I just wanted to come over here and tell you but don't say that because you think that's what I want to hear."

"You know what I think Zoe. I think that maybe your just too scared that someone might actually want to be with you. Well I do and im not just saying that because I think its what you want to hear, do you know how long I've watched by while you went out this all these guys who I knew were wrong for you. But I didn't say anything because I just wanted you to be happy."

"Why do you always know the right thing to say?" She tilted her head and smiled.

END OF CHAPTER 5

Sorry guys that's all for now I was going to write more but I really have to go. Im going to start working on the next chapter soon lets hope its up next weekend ) R&R


End file.
